The Almighty works in mysterious ways. Just as I had made peace with the fact that I might not go home this year, an opportunity created itself. Albeit in non ideal circumstances. There is nothing I want more right now than to see the folks and hand over my cares in the world to them. It is true, we never grow up.
I have been hanging onto my sanity by a thread the last few weeks, not thinking beyond the immediate lest I lose it and throw in the towel. Doing what needs to be done and becoming rather mechanical in the process. The occasional outburst is exactly that an outburst, rather an outpouring of emotion and then I stop, afraid to let it bubble over.
I cannot close my eyes anymore without thinking, fearing, worrying. It is difficult this aimless restlessness that does not let you see why it is. Does not let you delve deeper to find the roots and cut them off. Instead it festers, lingers feeding off your exhaustion and working off your routine till it becomes so much a part of you, you do not realise it is there. Until you have time for introspection. Time to sit with a cup of tea on a cold day without a email message popping up, the phone ringing or something else needing immediate attention.
Then it hits you like a ton of bricks, and you know something needs to be done. Something needs to snap you out before you are sucked in too far. This something for me, is heading to my parents. Lucky for me they are closer than home is. But for now home is where they are.

The time between posts is getting shorter, relatively speaking. When did we start needing technology to spell 'speaking' for us!
The last few months have been ... Interesting. While it might have been worthwhile to fill this space with a bullet point analysis of the recent trip to the US of A and the lessons learned from the first of the first world, Life has taken over and such indulgences will be left for when life permits. Reality sucks. There I've done what I never thought I would, at least not in writing, I've gone and used a meaningless colloquialism to express myself. That sucks. But when Life decides to play unfair then you have to play unfair right back at it.
This might all be cryptic but I write for consolation and refuge. More often than not I find myself returning to this space to vent cryptically since this is still a public domain- and vanish into oblivion once again. And it seems this state shall continue until Life quits misbehaving and puts things right. That's right Life it's Amrita, and you know what I'm talking about. Now get a move on it or else...