And things start looking up...

and she wants to write about that too!
The sun is out in all its glory, basmati rice, daal, aloo and capsicum sabjee have been made and I have the house to myself after a very hectic week.
It is late evening and as twilight sets in and the wooden floors creak under my steps, it is unnaturally quiet outside.
It is still light, with a soft breeze that has not blown hard all day. Windows open to let in the sun. A cool mango juice in hand, sitting on the balcony and soaking it all in - just peaceful, just resting, just I in this foreign land - that is starting to seem like it could be home someday.

Something about Belgium just does not agree with me! While I won't claim to be the healthiest person around, barring minor (constant!) ailments I'm mostly OK. Ever since landing in this country I have been stricken!!
- Day two: Minor cold and cough
- Day four: Major cold and cough
- Day eight: Stomach virus
- Day ten: Allergic inflamation of the eye
- Day twelve: Stomach virus seems gone, severe allergy begun, constant sneezing

New day new ailment!! I couldn't help but laugh when the allergy came on in all its glory! Just when I started feeling better
dammit dammit dammit is the anthem!

I have had several 'opening lines' over the last few weeks. I began writing and then changed my mind, hit delete and the words were lost forever.
I'm half way through my stay in Brussels, half way through work and half way through the introduction to what my life will be like for the next three years.
It is interesting, to say the least. Things that I thought I could take for granted, I cannot. Things that I thought I would never want to do, turns out I do!
It is a different way of life here, one that is far removed from Australia or New Zealand, the only two places I have lived in. It is so different , the European vacation, from trying to make a life here. One has to overcome the language barrier, the right-handed traffic, the food. Yes the food. While fries dipped in chocolate are alright for a week, they can have a rather unpleasant effect on the stomach! The history and 'culture' also takes getting used to. The transition is not easy, is not going to be easy.
There are of course the positives, work and well its Europe for Godsakes! A 'whole new world' at my feet waiting to be explored and the like. And while I am looking forward to it, every once in a while, late and night when I'm in that semi-conscious state between sleep and wakefulness I feel a weak longing. A tugging, a feeling - that says 'I dont want change, I dont want to change' . I dont want to leave family and friends so far behind.
'Tis unfortunate and downright unfair that one cannot have everything ! Because that is what I want, not a whole new world - but the best of both worlds - together - at once!!
God - are you listening? It's Amrita.

It has been a very long hiatus indeed! The thesis is getting there but I am not 'there' anymore. I'm in sunny Brussels (does not have the same ring to it as sunny Mexico, but we take what we can get). Feels good to see the sun again and be away from the routine that has been mine for over a year now: wake up, get to work, write thesis, listen to underhanded remarks, write more, give up and go home. Lather, rinse, repeat.
So Brussels, work beckons, a job that needs me and I it. A job that I think I can do and do well. Something that combines my talents and passions. An opportunity.
I am scared - yes, I am also excited - a feeling I have not had in a very long time.
So if you are in and around - look me up.
I will put an end to disjointed thoughts now - until next time!

So it has been a while - a long while. No, the PhD is not finished. Yes it looks like it will be done. No, I cannot be sure.
Plans for after the PhD have been made and are in motion already and i sincerely hope that it is not a case of counting chickens before the eggs have hatched. The finish line is out there, within sight, it just so happens that the highest damn mountain comes first!
Anyway such is life and one has to do what one has to do and I guess there's nothing left 'but to do or die'.
Marriage is on the cards too. Please make contact via email or phone call for further details.
Until then - may the force be with all of you!

It really seems like yesterday that I was writing about my 25th birthday. A year has passed me by and it is that time again. 26 - I could well overreact about the fact that I have not 'a shirt on my back' nor 'a penny to my name' (figuratively). The future is uncertain and the past ... rather bleak. But instead, in keeping with... something.. positivity, stupidity - I''m not sure which - I will think about the good things the nice things.

- How my day started with a lovely breakfast.
- How I have a wonderful, strong and fiercely loving family.
- How I have lost two grandparents in the last six months yet I am keeping alive their legacy.
- How it rained today, just as it has for 20 years of my life, every birthday.
- How my friends are fantastic, cheerful and humorous.
- How the last four years have been worth something: good times.
And of course there are the smaller, materialistic pleasures that make birthdays what they are.
Thank you to everyone that has wished me or thought about me today. Amidst my own issues I may not have had time to talk but I am glad for every ounce of support that I get.
I have no wishes to make, just plans to put into action.
And for those of you that read this blog - read 'Its not about the bike' and 'Every second counts' both biographies of Lance Armstrong. For a Texan, he sure can tell it like it is!

I want to write, I really do
but the words don't form, in a familiar way
thoughts do not gather a meaningful hue
on this 'ominously auspicious day'

I want to write, I truly do
about trial and error, hard work and play
new lessons learned and much ado
about nothing at all, yet so much to say

I want to write, lest I forget
the pleasure and the pain, the heartache and glory
the losses immeasurable, a life without regret
I need to write, to tell the story

I want to write, so I can survive.
Relive and experience, revisit and think
of feelings. Feel alive,
correct wrongs, collect rights and think.

I have written, so it remains
etched forever in memory and in words.
Mine forever to claim
as experience, done, seen and heard.

For my grandfather...

My grandfather passed away on Saturday. It is truly the end of an era for my family as we come to terms with the loss of my maternal grandparents, as we somehow make peace with the fact that Daddy is no more and learn to celebrate his life, instead of mourning his death. He will rest in peace, just as he lived, in peace with himself and with those around him. With heavy hearts we bid farewell to a man who was not only a dutiful son, faithful husband and loving father but above all an exemplary human being - Daddy, we can never do justice to your legacy but we will keep it alive.