Watched Amadeus again last night. Riveting, moving, sublime it is. Has always been.Watching it as a teenager I could only appreciate the music, if that. A few years later it was the acting, the description of the music. A few years on and the sense of humour made me laugh and last night the I felt the frustration. Salieri's frustration. That line at the end where he pronounces himself patron saint of mediocres rung out loud and clear. Here was a man of unquestionable morals, not lacking in hard work or sincerity but still found lacking. A man who knew that the music he was reading, composed by that "creature" Mozart, was the voice of God. A man who could not comprehend why God would choose to speak through such a fiend and not through him - a man who had dedicated his life and talent to serving God. It is a strange frustration. And has a stranger element to it. You see, in life, Salieri had it all. Naam, izzat, shohrat. Everything that Mozart did not have.

But Salieri was no fool and realised that he did not have the gift. In that one thing and one thing alone Salieri explains the conundrum in its totality - it is a curse to know better and not have the ability to be better.