Thursday, October 18, 2007

I - the robot

I don't like eating alone.
For the first time today I gathered the courage (and was hungry enough!) to run down to the cafe in the adjacent building, sit down and eat lunch - all by myself. For the first time in 24 years.
The cafe has Hollywood gossip magazines that one can flick through as one waits for food. I like Hollywood gossip. It makes me feel better about myself, my career and my life in general. So I wondered what kind of a tabloid headline I might make if I was interesting enough to write about.
'Amrita admits to feeling lonely!': In a shocking new revelation, 24 year old laser physicist Amrita Prasad, who was recently in the news for travelling to locations like Paris, Scotland, England and Germany and the US, yet claiming to have an uneventful life, revealed that in fact her move away from home had left her feeling lonely at times! ' I don't like eating alone' the 24 year old said as she admitted to regularly eating in front of the computer in her windowless cubicle 'sometimes there is no one to talk to'. Amrita now lives with her sister in a suburb in Canberra. The two have been spotted shopping in the mall and buying groceries.

Yes, I wouldn't make the news. But its fun pretending. Ok its deranged.
Well for those interested, Nicole Ritchie's boyfriend was caught cheating on her, Britney Spears realises she is as 'fat as a pig' and Brangelina never stopped making news!
And yes, I do feel lonely at times. I feel like the weight of the world is on my weak shoulders and that in doing, day in and day out, what I have to do, I have forgotten what I want to do. I am the robot at times and some weeks pass by in a daze. Some days I wish I could go back home to my parents, who I miss and don't get to see everyday anymore. At times I wish I had someone to eat with or even somebody to say hello to me when I walk in to work, or someone to have a chat to over coffee. People say I have hardened up post moving out and PhD. Im glad I have my guardian angels - (dark) humour, cynicism and sarcasm - without these I would be lost.

5 comments:

Kamesh said...

Your lunch experience reminds me of these lines that I had sung years ago:

There's an unceasing wind that blows through this night,
And there's dust in my eyes, that noone would wipe,
And silence that speaks so much louder than words
Of dreams unspoken.

AI said...

Wow well written. Managed to be funny and sad.

Well see the done thing when you're feeling all sad is to write to friends and not to wallow alone on your blog :P

Vatsa said...

I know what you mean.... Makes me miss those days when I used to nip over to the city campus to have lunch with you....Brangelina is a cheap compromise next to that.

Vatsa said...

I know what you mean.... Makes me miss those days when I used to nip over to the city campus to have lunch with you....Brangelina is a cheap compromise next to that.

OnCloud9 said...

awww...you can never be lonely when all of us are around - if not in person, always in spirit

and btw...i love lunching alone with a gossip magazine! :)